First church experience, still an atheist

People who know me probably also know that I'm an atheist/deist (comes and goes). That of course means I'm really curious about religion so I finally spared time and did something that I wanted to do for a long time, attending a Sunday service!

I've been to many churches all around the world, even been inside the living quarters where the brothers and priests live and had a party once. But I had never been to a church to attend a service or mass. Once I went through a church during mass, but wasn't there from beginning to end so that doesn't count either (neither do movies). So I had to!

The coward that I am, I didn't want to go all by myself and be cursed till eternity because of my atheism. So I contacted the only person whom I knew was religious and asked him if he went to mass on Sundays. He said that he goes to a more progressive church which does not have mass, but has a service (I have no idea if these are the same thing actually, semantics) and I was welcome any time I wanted to go. And so we went. My friend goes to St. Peter's Church, which is quite a big church in central Brighton. It's actually right between Old Steine and The Level where you read about me getting lost with my bike all the time.

 

Well, I know my way around now so we met in front of the church at 6:30pm and went in for the service, minute one, surprise one. When we got close to the door, I could hear music from inside the church which I assumed to be an organ, but the second we opened the door I heard rock music. Alternative rock with some post-rockish themes which was quite to my liking. But wait, we were in a church, during service. What the hell (hehe)? First signs of 'progressive' was showing. I later learned that this was quite a normal sight in  Church of England churches.

So we walked in, found a place right in the middle of the hall, I realised that there were no seats, we were going to sit on the floor on pillows, well I don't if they're called pillows, small rectangle pillows to sit on, not that comfy. Behind us were a set of chairs which were generally occupied by somewhat more older people even though there were some younger faces too, I guess they just didn't want to be in the crowd. It was like a small concert hall with nice music, youngsters singing along (the lyrics were projected on stage).

This all felt very strange, where were the guys in costumes speaking in Latin, carrying smokey things and giving you a piece of Christ's flesh and blood? Where were the altar boys, wait, where was the altar? All I could see was a huge sign that read LOVE. Strange.

So while we listened, I took a minute to observe the church since I was in it for the first time. Sadly the church is under construction so I could only see a very small part of it. The ceiling had lots of symbols on it which from my observations I made them out to be symbols of guilds, but who knows, didn't ask. The rest was all quite church like features, nothing special. It's quite a nice church as usual.

So the music went on for a while, nice music with super cheesy lyrics, you probably can guess what it was all about so I'm not even going to make fun of it. After the music a young man I made out to be in his late 20's (much older I later realised) in jeans and a shirt took the stage. Turns out he was the vicar (as Prosident told me later on, I had never heard the term before), meaning he was the boss (right?). Where was his suit god damn it! What kind of a church was this?

He told us how they came to Brighton, to this church, couple of years back when it was falling apart (a little google search tells me that it was shut down in 2007 and re-opened in 2009), how they restored it, and where still working on it (quite noticeably). He talked about the programs and camps they had, and gave the stage to someone to do the days talk. I can't remember her name sadly (anyone surprised?), but the scripture she wanted us to open was Romans. Romans is interesting because it's one of the few scriptures that actually talks about homosexuality, so for a second I got excited, we were in Brighton, this was a progressive church, would they talk about it? Sadly no, she talked about other verses. In general I found the speech not so good but it was clear that the speaker was quite inexperienced, she told us that it was her first time so for a first time speaker, I can give her a passing grade. But nothing too exciting.

One thing that I noticed was that when she asked us to open our bibles, most people in the crowd took out there iPhone's and read the bible from their bible apps. Weird. I did not like it, they had spare bibles around so I grabbed one of those. I was going to ask if I can take it to read it but decided not to push, wish I had since when I checked the bible prices at a book store today.. Man o man.. I thought people gave this thing out for free! Have to go to the library again now.

After the speech, Archie took stage again, talked about feeling the Lord and all that jazz and asked us to let Jesus in tonight. Since I never believed in Santa, I again started looking around, while people started 'the letting in' and praying, to observe the people around me. There were all kinds of people, very young to very old, rockers to punks to hiphoppers. It seemed a bit strange at first, some of the people I saw, I wouldn't look at on the street, but it gave me comfort to see that they have a connection to something greater than them.

Personally, I'm going through a very rough time at the moment, struggling to find something to hold on to and help me get through things. So while looking around, seeing these people, praying, singing, worshiping.. For a second I tried to feel what they were feeling. It must be a great feeling to let go, to believe in something more powerful than yourself who's in control. To be filled with love and power that comes from believing in something. I knew the feeling because I found it in other things in life. Love, music, sex, sports.. To be around people that thought and felt like you, I kinda understood the community feeling the people around me felt (which always to me seemed like the only reason to turn to religion), and envied it a little, but when you come to think of it, it is sad that it is for something so empty. I like it when churches do good deeds, which they do a lot, but all the energy, time and money they spend on things like praying, worshiping and other things could be used towards so many other and better things.. Well, at least, I'm glad that it helps them on a personal level and helps them get through life, even though it's all false and make believe. Of course, for me. Not for them, so all is fine, everyone is happy.

Then the music started again, during prayer. I remembered when I saw Explosions in the Sky live (the music reminded me of them), and the things I felt during that concert, oh the power of post-rock. I kinda fell into the mood, let my feelings go for a bit. Then they started singing about the army of the Lord which pulled me back to reality quite quickly. Sad.

It was time to go. Prosident asked me how I found it, and I told him it was interesting, and that I could see myself visiting again. Which I'm planning to do, I do need a better seat next time though. Those pillows are not comfy.

I'm really glad that I saw this side of Christianity. I'm curious about other ways people follow this religion and will try to visit other churches to see their way of worshiping the flying spaghetti monster. Till then I will cherish the good memories of yesterday.

Experiencing life is always fun. Sadly though, I'm still an atheist, and yes, I eat babies..

Lazy Fuckin' Bum

What a lazy fuckin' bum I am.. So many things I plan to write, keep postponing, then don't write..

I wanted to write about Planet India, a veggie Indian restaurant we went to for a friends birthday, I was actually leaving for this place at the end of this post, that's for how long I postponed writing it!

I was also planning to write about to always green traffic light, I had never seen it go red for pedestrians until a few days ago, I swore at myself for not writing about it, it's green even on google:

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Don't look at it from other angles, it's red.

I was also planning to write about how the English don't use salt for anything except fish&chips, which makes no sense at all. They don't have salt shakers on tables at restaurants which is something very weird for me but very normal for them, they put no salt in the food, then don't put it on the table either, how am I supposed to taste anything? I know that too much salt is unhealthy and Turkey is known for its overuse of salt but come on.. They put no salt (I call that no salt) in pasta, I mean come on.. The pasta tastes like water people.. A little bit of salt won't kill you Brits.. Get a grip..

Then there's the difference in language, specially slang words. People made fun of me because I said "I ran into xxx", they started running and hitting each other saying is this how you run into people. So I say "what do you guys use?". You want to know the answer? "You bump into someone.". How the fuck is that different, much more fun makeable (what a word that I just made up). Things on pulling things, girls or weeners, bum instead of ass, stuff like that. And no one says dude to each other, sad :(.

Of course the most important thing in Brighton for me is ultimate and I should write something on that. That I want to write so I'm not saying anything about it now. I did talk about it a bit here before so you can check that if you want, but more to come soon.

More to come soon hopefully.